What is Grief?

Why grief?

I’ve been here before and I want you to have someone to walk along side with you on your journey of navigating through grief.  It’s not easy.  It’s a rough road and difficult on the heart and mind.  And I want you to know there is a clear path for resolving your pain from grief, when you are ready.  What’s possible?  To Renew Your Possibility™.

Grief is the normal and natural reaction to significant emotional loss of any kind.

Without realizing it most have been grieving from loss for years.  How do define grief?  “Grief is the conflicting feelings caused by the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behavior.”

Grief occurs with transition and change, yet we do not recognize it as grief.

Know this, it is a process.  Trust the process.  It comes in waves and it is unique for each one of us.  Every time we lose something, there is grief.  Something ends, a relationship, a job, school.  Or when something new comes into our life, such as moving to a new home, or changing jobs for the positive.  Why, because the familiar routine, or the familiarity of seeing the same people each day, which was normal is gone.  It’s different and we miss what we are use to.

One of the most misunderstood subjects in our society today is that of loss and grief. According to the findings of the Grief Recovery Institute®. These losses can go unattended for years by the belief that many of us have heard… “Time will heal our wounds”. The sad truth is that time in and if itself does nothing to heal.

It is part of our journey for growth and development

When possible, look at the positive, our grief is one part of the journey for growth and development.  If we stay stuck in our grief, we do not grow or evolve.

What happens when we attempt to shortcut a natural process in our growth and development?

It is simply impossible to violate, ignore, or shortcut this development process.  It is contrary to nature and attempting to seek such a shortcut only results in disappointment and frustration.

Grief is hard.

It sucks the life out of us.  And how do we respond?  We push it away or just don’t deal with it.

Yet, if you stay stuck in the grief, stuff happens.  Typical responses associated with grief, a sense of numbness, reduced concentration, roller coaster of emotional energy.  When we grieve our immune system is compromised so we are prone to getting sick, and being accident prone.  We often experience overwhelm, forget things, get frustrated, and angry, anxiety builds up and then we turn to mind numbing habits like binging on Haagen Dazs ice cream aka comfort food, retail therapy, gambling, drugs, or alcohol to forget that we are hurting and to numb the pain.

The way we see the problem, is the problem.

How do you view grief?

Grief is individual and unique.  There are no stages and grief cannot be neatly categorized.  Elizabeth Kubler Ross’s work was on death and dying, not grief.  She is very specific about this distinction in her books and yet the media and universities have attached her work to grief.  This common misinformation has confused and hurt many grievers through the years.

There are no absolutes in grief.  There are no reactions so universal that all or even most people will experience them.  Grief is normal and natural.  It is not a pathological condition or a personality disorder.

Often grief is mislabeled as ADHD, depression, PTSD and many other pathological conditions.

Sadly, if you misdiagnose, you will mistreat.  Thus, mislabeled grievers are then incorrectly put on various medications, which will get in the way of recovery from loss.

If you don’t address grief, the pattern(s) will continue.

There is no quick fix, advice or solution that will relieve the pain in your own situation.  It’s allowing yourself to be with the pain and feel the feels without numbing vices.

Get curious about your awareness or non-awareness.  Be curious on the patterns that are showing up or not showing up.  Ask yourself, what are you protecting?

Renew Your Possibility!

I can assure you there is hope, for renewing what is possible with unresolved grief.

The Grief Recovery Method® has been designed to give you the tools and the safety required to grieve.

“A thousand mile journey begins with the first step, and can only be taken one step at a time?”

Download one of the ebooks under the resources page and read up on grief.

Check out the FAQ’s .

Schedule a 15 minute complimentary call to share what your experiencing so you can ask me questions.

Take that first step.  Try something that you have not done before.  It’s ok, to not be ok, yet please don’t stay stuck in your grief.  There is light on the other side.

Remember, “The beginning is the most important part of the work.” Plato

Yours in Gratitude and to Renewing Your Possibility. . .

Debbie