What is loss?
The dictionary defines loss as “the fact or process of losing something or someone.” And, “the state or feeling of grief when deprived of someone or something of value.”
Loss happens in all different forms. Often times when we think about loss we think of losing a loved one, grandmother, father, friend or even losing a pet.
Yet there are losses that we experience that we may not equate to loss.
Such as loss of a relationship – this can be through a break up with a girlfriend or boyfriend, divorce, or through death.
Loss of freedom – You broke your leg , or foot and are limited on where you can go. You are no longer able to drive due to health reasons or a parent or grandparent had to be placed in assisted living because they can not care for themselves.
Loss of health – You just found out you have some form of cancer, diabetes or a heart condition.
Loss of unmet hopes, dreams and expectations. You thought you were getting married, planned on having kids, or you planned on going into the Navy and found out you can’t because of a health issue.
Loss of a job, taking on a new job, moving, changing schools, financial loss and even closing of a business, or a merger of two companies is another example
There are intangible losses as well, loss of faith, loss of safety, loss of security, and loss of trust.
How do these all equate to loss?
These losses equate to the end of or change in a familiar pattern.
Dang . . Loss is difficult AND change is hard. It is exhausting. Yet our normal response at times is to push it away or minimize the loss, “oh, this is just part of life” or “I will deal with it tomorrow”. Or we get stuck in the why.
The impact of loss does a number on our heads and hearts and staying stuck in the emotions of loss can be detrimental.
So what do we do?
Loss is one part of our journey of development and growth. Hard pill to swallow when it happens. If we stay stuck in our grief from our losses we do not grow or evolve.
What happens when we attempt to shortcut a natural process in our growth and development?
If you don’t address it, the painful pattern that keeps showing up over and over will continue.
It is simply impossible to violate, ignore or shortcut this development process. It is contrary to nature and attempting to seek such a shortcut only results in disappointment and frustration. Feeling stuck, feeling pain in your body, holds yourself back.
The way we see the problem, is the problem.
That is how we stay stuck. It’s choosing to be with and addressing your loss, the sadness, frustration, disappointments and grief.
There is no quick fix advice or solution that will relieve the pain in your situation.
So what do you do? Get curious. What are you aware of? What painful patterns are you noticing that keep showing up in your life, that you are not addressing? Ask yourself, what are you protecting?
How would you know if you, or someone you know is incomplete with loss?
- You are unwilling to think about or talk about someone who has died or express feelings about any losses that you have experienced.
- Fond memories turn painful, you may be experiencing unresolved grief.
- When you talk only about the positive aspects of a relationship, you may be incomplete.
- If you are angry a lot and talk only about the negative aspects of a relationship, you may be incomplete.
- Unresolved grief may be at the root of any fear or anxiety associated with thoughts or feelings about the loss you experienced.
There is hope!
I can assure you there is hope, for renewing what is possible with resolving, unresolved grief.
Have you heard the saying, ‘A thousand mile journey begins with the first step, and can only be taken one step at a time?”
One step is to notice, be aware of the painful patterns that keep showing up in your life.
Download one of the ebooks under my resources page and read up on loss.
Schedule a 15 minute complimentary call to share what your experiencing so you can ask me questions.
Take that first step. Do something that you have not done before. It’s ok, to not be ok, yet please don’t stay stuck in your loss and grief. There is hope on the other side.
Remember, Plato “The beginning is the most important part of the work.”
Yours in Gratitude and to Renewing Your Possibility. . .