Helping Parents with Loss – Looking At Myth 6 – Time Heals all Wounds

Myth 6 – Time Heals all Wounds

This might be the single most dramatically inaccurate piece of mis-information that has been imposed on all of us.  Like most false beliefs, this idea has a partial basis in reality.  Recovery from loss  and completion of emotional pain do happen within a framework of time.  However, there is a world of difference between time healing a wound and a wound healing within time.

Our humorous explanation of the fact that time, of itself, does not and cannot heal.  Imagine that you’d gone out to your car only to discover it was had a flat tire.  Would you pull up a chair, sit down, and wait for air to get back in your tire?  The answer is obvious.  Time is not going to put air into your tire.

Why, then, does the myth that time heals persist?

Let us try to help you see how an aspect of truth supports the falsehood.  Major loss events like death and divorce can produce an overwhelming amount of emotional energy.  Sometimes the pain is so unbearable that our hearts and brains become numb.  As we accommodate and accept the reality of the loss, some of the pain will diminish naturally.  Most people interpret that reduced pain to have been caused by the passage of time.  That is accurate, but only in regard to the immediate pain associated with the loss.

Some Myths are invisibly tied together . .

Remember the dangers of the fifth myth that advises us to keep busy?  If we combine keep busy with time heals all wounds, the resulting idea is that if you just stay busy enough, more time will pass, and eventually you will heal.

Many of the myths are hooked together with almost invisible wires, as in the illustration shared above.  Since most people never look closely at these kinds of ideas, they usually don’t realize what those comments mean.  For example, while there are people who would never advise grieving friends that time heals all wounds, they would, without thinking it through, counsel them to keep busy.

From the book.  . When Children Grieve written by John W James  and Russell Friedman with Dr. Leslie Landon Matthews

There is help . .

If you are interested in participating in the Renew Your Possibility – As Children Grieve 6 week Study group, sign up here.

This is a complimentary study group that will provide you some incredibly valuable safety tips and tools that you will be able to use for the rest of your life and your children’s lives.  I guarantee it.

Or, if you are not ready to take that step, purchase the book “When Children Grieve here . .

Or download one of the ebooks under the resources page and read up on grief.

Another option is to Schedule a 15 minute complimentary call to share what your experiencing so you can ask me questions.

Just take that first step.  Do something that you have not done before.  It’s ok, that your not ok, yet please don’t stay stuck in grief.  There is light on the other side.

Remember, “The beginning is the most important part of the work.” Plato

Yours in Gratitude and to Renewing Your Possibility. . .

Debbie  Your Grief Recovery Specialist®