Black Lives Matter . . .

I shared this on my personal Facebook page the day the below incident occurred.   My emotions were raw and I was disgusted with what occurred in my small community.  Why do I care?  Because I am tired of the discrimination everywhere.  God created each one of us, and no one, NO ONE, is any better than another. NO ONE!  I have been encouraged to share my own voice, versus sharing posts that others create.  So this is my voice speaking up. No more silence. Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. #BlackLivesMatter

I am raw with emotion and I am TROUBLED… I am a seeker of answers and solutions… I was trained to have the answer and to find solutions… if you don’t.  I was trained to believe I would be weak if I don’t have the answers. .I could be eaten and devoured in life and business UGGGGHHHH… this was me being trained.

I continue to seek answers and solutions though I continue to find I don’t have them…

I want to LASH OUT… yet I cannot cast the first stone. I am TROUBLED.

I don’t know how God does it… I don’t know how Jesus endured… I know he has his Father… I to have God as my Father… YET I am TROUBLED.

What is this internal stirring?… I saw in a post last night that a black couple was denied service and turned away due to their blackness, even after making an appointment to celebrate his wife’s birthday. . .we have racism here in Edmonds… by a fellow business person. I am OUTRAGED. I am SAD. I am TROUBLED. And I don’t have the answers or a solution. I want to LASH OUT… Yet I cannot cast the first stone.

I ask God for wisdom to sit with my troubled, raw, emotions.

STOP the SILENCE… I cannot be silent – Why is this OKAY . . . I AM TROUBLED… I don’t know what to do… I don’t have the answers…

This morning after I worked out I went for a walk .. in tears… asking God, how do you do it, Lord… HE too has to be in tears… crying out. I asked Jesus . . How did you do it, Lord . . . I ask for your help. .not for the answers or solutions… yet how to hold the space . . . this CRAP is here and always has been here.

Why is there rejection in our world… why do people feel they are better than another… that is pure BS

I am ANGRY… I am OUTRAGED . . . I get rejection… I experienced it as a young kid… I was bullied as a white kid… my sons were bullied. My son Ken was gay and he was bullied for being different. Ken’s brother Bryan was bullied for being his brother . . They both decided to leave California to get away from being bullied…

My Father was prejudice and their father is prejudice… he could not even share with his friends that his son was gay. This ANGERS me… I am TROUBLED . . .

WHY can we not accept and love each other as we are… I am TROUBLED. I don’t have the answers.

This is not to seek sympathy or a debated response. . . this is me speaking out to use my VOICE as I am TROUBLED… I am tired of the hidden injustices in my community, in my family, in our WORLD.

I will sit with my TROUBLED self. . and pray for divine guidance for MERCY and GRACE, and to be merciful and share grace.

I am committed to being in the discomfort of uncomfortable conversations to open our human hearts with each other to fresh new perspectives.

I will continue to educate, read, watch stories, movies, and documentaries to learn how to serve humanity and my fellow black and ethnic friends.

I hear you, I see you, I stand with YOU!

YOU Matter!

Debbie

Advocate for Creating Possibilities